So shines a good deed in a weary world.

I am depressed. It is ok if you are, too.

This ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’ phrase is well-known, but the original quote is from William Shakespeare’s ‘The Merchant of Venice.’ It reads: “How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.”

At this moment in time, our collective hearts and minds feel heavy. Strained. Traditional and social media keep our world large and small in equal measure. Everywhere we turn, we are inundated with talking points, statistics, blame.  To do anything truly useful in the larger world feels out of our reach. This keeps us feeling small and helpless.

Like many people, I have spent time thinking, ‘in my corner of the world, what can I do?’ There are a lot of organizations doing important work which we can support in a multitude of ways. And of course, exercising your right to vote is critical in ensuring that our voices are heard. But my thoughts are focused on what we can do within our smaller, insulated worlds. The answers are not coming to me easily. If you are like me and are struggling to process how frightening the world seems and how you can help, maybe it is ok to just focus on two small areas: preserving your mental health and acting graciously toward others.

I have lived through 50+ decades of world wearying events. One of the first I can remember was the fallout from Watergate, which led to the resignation of Richard Nixon, our 37^th President. The Watergate reporting flooded our newspapers, televisions, and radios, which was the only media available to the masses at the time. At the age of 7 I did not quite understand the implications of what the media was stating, but I was nervous and afraid. I could not stop thinking about our President possibly going to prison. I did not even know what prison was, exactly, but to hear that this could be his fate made me anxious. Those feelings followed me through my days.

In the 1970s, the only form of self-care you heard of came from the ‘Calgon, take me away commercials.’ As a Gen X kid, if we ever expressed fear – which we rarely did - we were oh so lovingly told ‘deal with it.’ We do not live in that world anymore and thank goodness for that. If the world feels too scary, too much for our mental health, we have options. We can stay away from the news for a short time. We can see a therapist. We can talk to loved ones and share our common worries. We can give ourselves the grace to protect our headspace. We carry such heavy loads – we cannot afford to spend our days in a sense of dread and hopelessness. Do not sit in that space alone.

Uttering the phrase, ‘be kind to others,’ sounds like a cliché. It is the kind of thing people say when they do not know what else to say. It rings like a platitude. It can trivialize. In practice, however, a small kindness can be a lifeline. Can you make a difference with a smile, a compliment, some encouragement? Absolutely. That kindness creates connection. In this terrible time of world and local crises, we need our connections. Hold them tight. If you are feeling particularly brave, work to create new connections. I know. The idea of adults making new friends? There are a lot of us who struggle to keep up communications with our old friends. But I have faith we can do that much.    

I am also trying to practice greater awareness during my daily interactions with people. Awareness of the moods of others. Awareness of the perspectives of others. Awareness of my biases and attitudes. That mindful communication will guide you to act in kindness toward others. In the workplace, start your meetings by inquiring how your teammates are. Tell someone they are doing good work. At the store, compliment a stranger. Tell your kids you are proud of them for no particular reason. Work those kindnesses into your day. Project them.

This post was written during a particularly depressive several days. It is ok to be honest about that. I hope you know it is ok for you to be honest about that, too.

The image is of my sweet cat, Daisy. She is a mood lifter if ever there was one.

In an attempt to lighten the tone, I am thinking the next post will be a recipe. Yes, a recipe. I am a terrible cook so this should be…fun? We could use fun right now. Until then, take care of yourselves.